Happy almost-Valentine’s, dear Reader! I hope there's something sweet and lovely ahead for you. 🍭

Of course, Valentine's or not, I'm listening hard to clients and their teams right now, and I know many of you aren't feeling very sweetish or lovely, especially in your life at work.

And the gunk is magnified when you're in a leadership post and others' lives are swirled up in yours. 🌪️

Like my coaching client—we'll call her T.

T LOVES her team. ❤️ She found herself doing ANYTHING to keep them safe and happy, including:

• Handling challenges so others didn't have to
• Staying silent about upcoming org changes to not generate worry
• Softening feedback to avoid bruising egos

T's intent was admirable. It came from a place of love and care.

But the result?

• She got overwhelmed trying to do everything for everyone.
• Her team was surprised (and even a little angry) about org changes once they were final.
• Poor performers lingered and their issues eventually came back around to damage . . . T's own reputation and peace of mind 😇.

Sigh. Maybe you've been there--trying to do the right thing now, but ending up doing the wrong thing for later.

I've seen this pattern too many times among now-exhausted people leaders.

They're good, capable people who care deeply, and that leads them to carry what shouldn’t be theirs to carry.

And over time, that doesn’t create ease. It creates overwhelm. Confusion. Resentment.

'Cause love doesn't mean saying yes.

Love is telling the truth.

The most loving leaders I know don’t protect people from pain. They protect everyone from the slow damage of avoiding what's hard.

❤️ There's more help here in my article, How to Say Hard Things to Good People at Work. ❤️

So how 'bout you, Reader? What’s the truth you’ve been avoiding because you don’t want to be “the bad guy?" Or you're trying to be too "nice"? Hit REPLY and tell me YOUR story--I always love hearing from you.

Managing hard things during hard times doesn't require our hearts to be hard, too. In fact, I think it takes more empathy, care, and yes LOVE than ever. That's the best gift anyone can give this Valentine's and beyond--better than any candy or flowers will ever be. 🌹

Thanks for being here and wearing your red cape. You matter, more than you know.

Always, Darcy

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P.S. If you're new here, I'm serious about you hitting REPLY and emailing me back. I'm a real person who writes every word here and reads what you send me. Your story may inspire an article for the future, or the question you're struggling with may have an answer I can assist with. Plus, it's always a special Valentine when I hear from you! Go ahead and try it--hit REPLY now! Thanks. --D