The other day, Reader, someone at a social event asked me what I suggest that more leaders—and people who hope to lead—learn how to do.

(He'd heard I was a coach and I think wanted me to prove it. 😇)

An answer came to me faster than I expected.

I didn't say "how to inspire," or "how to think strategically." I didn't even talk about communicating better (a topic of several videos I've posted on LinkedIn).

Nuh-huh.

What I heard myself say is that more leaders need to learn how to say no.

Now, my asker found this answer completely unsatisfying.

He pushed back, arguing that "saying no should be EASY for a leader. They call the shots."

I wasn't in the mood to engage in a debate, so I smiled and floated back to the bar.🍷

But the more I thought about my answer, the more I stood by it, despite my second glass of pinot noir.

Because “no” is one of the most generous, clarifying, and courageous skills there is.

And it's hard.

Especially when we're a person who CAN do a lot. But SHOULD we?

A participant in a leadership program I taught told the story about her habit of saying yes too often eventually ended her up in the hospital with high blood pressure, on her way to a possible stroke.

She learned —the hard way—that yes, you can drop some balls and the world won't shatter.

​(I've got an entire chapter on dropping balls in my book, BTW. )

But how do we do it? How do we start saying no?

How 'bout you, Reader? Where do you need to learn to say no, or renegotiate the yes you've already said? Hit REPLY and tell me. I always love hearing from you and try to respond to every note as soon as I can. Your stories and ideas help me know what's useful and where else you could use some help. I'm here for you.

In the meantime, we don't have to be the tippy-top leader in our orgs to feel the pressures of our work and lives. We also don't need to feel guilty if we start saying no more often to things that are outside our superpower space, or that don't really matter in the big picture of our life at work.

We need YOU, now more than ever. Try saying yes to saying no more often, and let me know how it goes. Red capes on, my friend—you deserve to soar.

Always, Darcy

P.S. Thanks to those of you who purchased a copy of my book, "Red Cape Rescue: Save Your Career Without Leaving Your Job," during the recent Kindle special sale. Please consider leaving a review on Amazon, even if you haven't finished the book. A review isn't a book report; it's a vote of confidence and support for the author's work. Your review also helps Amazon show the book to other people (more reviews=more exposure.) It's fast and easy to leave one--and just a few words matter. When you submit it, let me know so I can look for it (the 'Zon doesn't tell authors these things.) Thanks in advance for your support--it matters! --D