The other day, a coaching client of mine who holds a high-profile job told me about a colleague who criticized her in front of an important group of stakeholders.

It's not the first time this has happened. But each time it does, her brain flames up with thoughts like:

• I'm weak and should be able to stand up for myself
• I'm an imposter and need to work harder
• I hate that person and I kind of hate myself more for feeling this way

Most people would tackle the problem this way: planning their attack, overpreparing for the next time they interact with that person, worrying about what they'll say next, in front of whom.

Then the next time they're in the room with said person, they tense up, plant their feet, clench their fists getting ready for the fight. 🥊🥊🥊

But honestly-- that's the completely wrong approach.

Because it's not about you.

It's about them.

So how do you deal with a bully at work?

I've got three somewhat surprising but completely do-able strategies here:

​Read my brand new article, How to Deal With a Bully at Work: Surprising Strategies to Use Now​

How 'bout you, Reader? I'm betting since you're a grown-up in the workplace that you've experienced a bully once or thrice. Hit REPLY and tell me about it. What was happening? What'd you do? What do you WISH you'd done? Your life lessons are always welcome here, so tell me more.

(Or ask a q about anything happening in your life at work right now--I always love to hear from you.)

Sometimes, the hardest battle is with ourselves. Can you relate? Let’s stay strong, wear our red capes, and rise above—even when the bully is that person in the mirror. 🪞

Always, Darcy

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P.S. Recently, an article I co-wrote for the Harvard Business Review with my friend & colleague (frolleague?) Sarah Mann was reprinted in their Spring 2025 special issue on How to Build a Personal Brand. Our piece (When Your Colleagues Have an Outdated Perception of You) is sandwiched in-between articles by bestselling authors Benjamin Hardy and Michael D. Watkins (whose book The First 90 Days is a classic for a reason.) If you need to get clear on who you are in this new world of work--and want to make sure others know, too--this collection is a great place to start. Get it here (and when you do, send me your smiling picture with it!) --D