One of the most eyebrow-raising ideas I've been coaching on lately has been this idea of healthy tension.

And I believe the faster we recognize and embrace this concept, the faster our stress levels drop and our sense of control rises. 📈

But wtf is HEALTHY tension??

I mean, most of us have been taught to believe that tension is a BAD thing, right? After all, it's part of our lingo:

• Let's go along to get along.
• The nail that sticks up gets hammered down.
• Don't rock the boat!

Truth is, our big, beautiful brain despises tension of any kind. Our brain is biologically programmed to seek safety, certainty, simplicity. Left unattended, it'll engage in all sorts of thought acrobatics in a lame attempt to keep you safe--even when those cartwheels get in the way of doing what your more evolved mind knows you need to do.

Enter healthy tension.

Put exxxxxxtra simply, I think of healthy tension as the ability to live with this AND that.

Especially when this & that feel in conflict with each other. 🤺🤺

After all, plain ole pass-me-the-Pepto tension is often "this OR that"—

• Happy OR sad
• Decide fast OR get a lot of input
• Speak up OR keep the peace

Yup, we're living and working in a time when the truth is in the tension.

Unfortunately, I see a lot of people wasting their life waiting for one side of the OR equation to show up.

Sure, there's a place for OR. But if you've been overwhelmed, oversad, stressed and feeling the weight of the world, I want to invite you into a new thought:

➡️ What if I made room for more AND in my life right now?

Here are a few ways my clients are starting to tackle this recently:

• "I'm needed at work, AND I can commit time to take care of myself."
• "I'm not happy with what's going on in the world AND I can focus on getting more rest instead of listening to the late-night news."
• "I don't trust my new leader, AND I can work to look at things from her perspective instead of getting defensive every time we talk."

So back over to you, Reader. Got healthy tension in your life right now? Hit REPLY and tell me more. Or, is there a tense situation where you can't find the path to a healthy AND? Reply (always confidential) and often I've got tools or perspectives to help you on your way. 🚴🏽

If this idea resonated with you, would you share it with a friend or colleague? I know you don't want to bother them, AND your kind share may be the help they've been longing for. I'm so glad you're here--keep soaring!

Always, Darcy

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BTW: These weekly Insider notes to you are always written by me, Coach Darcy Eikenberg, a real human. 😇 Your responses always go directly to me. If you're new here or just curious, here's how I'm using AI in these notes and in my work as a coach and speaker​ ➡️.​ ➡️.​ ➡️.​ ​