I learned a new word recently, Reader: reactance.

Geek word, I know. 🧠

In behavioral science, it's defined as "an unpleasant motivational arousal that emerges when people experience a threat to or loss of their free behaviors."

Translation: it's the internal trigger that makes us say "heck no" when someone suggests we do something—even if that thing's good for us. 📍

We don't want to be told what to do, dammit.

Or we know what to do and we'll do it when we're good and ready, so lay off, willya?

Something like that.

That reaction is built into our brains. It's part of being human.

No wonder change is hard.

But here's the thing.

Once we see our reactance, we can override it.

Instead of feeling controlled, we can remember that WE control what we think, say, and do.

​(there's a good book that talks about this if you haven't read it yet)​

And one of the things we can do to take back control is to ask for help.

Not because someone tells we should. But because we're smart. We know we can't ever know everything. We know we can't always see the label from inside the jar.

If you're wondering if you've got a smidge of reactance going on in your life at work, this'll help.

​Read: 3 Beliefs That Stop Us From Asking for Help at Work​

How 'bout you, Reader? What stops you from asking for help? Hit REPLY and tell me about it. I love hearing from you and work hard to respond to as many of your notes as I can. Your stories (and those of your fellow Insiders here) continually inspire and motivate me, so never hesitate to tell me yours!

If you've had a touch of reactance lately about asking for more help with your career or workplace challenges, I'm here for you, without judgment or criticism. You can schedule your confidential chat at AskDarcy.com, and get your red cape soaring once again. Thanks for being here!

Always, Darcy

P.S. It's not too early to plan for your fall/winter leader and manager events. I'm always happy to talk to you about how my talks and work sessions can move your team forward faster than they could on their own. Just hit REPLY or schedule time to chat here. Thanks! --D